Closing Time

Wll folks the movers are coming in the morning. The boyfriend doesn't have a computer..or internet access( how does he live). So I'll be back in 3- 4 weeks. I'll Holla.

Next stop...San Antone

No Title

Who knew moving...I should say pre-moving would be this time consuming. Cleaning out closets and throwing out stuff that I don't want anymore. Apparently I've inherited my moms packrat tendencies. I have thrown out 4 large boxes and three trashbags full of junk( why do I keep old bills and statements...Crazy). Found some good stuff though..Old love notes from BooBoo, baby pictures, $20 and old love notes from the ex( I threw those away-LOL-). I am sooo glad movers are coming to handle the rest of this because I would've sold the old furniture and bought new if I had to load all this stuff.

-Damn I want a double cheeseburger-

So, BooBoo has really impressed his supervisors. He's in clinicals right now on his way to becoming a Surgical tech or Operation Room technician. He's impressed them so much that they've offered him a job with the local Organ Harvest team( basically they are a surgical team that covers most of MS, AL and LA, harvesting donated organs and transporting them to the people who need them). Now this is something he's said he really wants to do. Only problem is the job's in MS. I told him that I love him and would never try to prevent him from doing something that he really wants to do but at the same time I know our relationship won't survive the distance forever. So he has a decision to make. I did point out that there are Harvest teams in TX and he would make more money in the area. So, we'll see. He better let me know before I lease a two bedroom-LOL-.

-I need a haircut-

My mom has to move out of her current apartment and find I new one. Only problem her credit is laughable...Oh and she barely has a job soooo, good luck with that. I told her she needs to find some full time employment, doesn't matter where or what but she needs to work 40 hours a week. You know what she told me......"I'm going to start selling my bake goods". Ya'll I had to get off the phone before I either laughed hysterically or cursed her out.
I filed paperwork to claim her as my dependent. If approved the military will pay me like $500 extra dollars a month. Speaking of the military. Why have people been trying to convince me that I need to stay in twelve more years so I can retire. I mean getting that check for the rest of my life would be great and all but I can't deal with the system much longer. Maybe I'll join the reserves or something.

-I just made a Madonna I-mix. How gay is that?-

Conversations

I had a conversation with one of my very good friends tonight. We were watching some reality show following folks getting plastic surgery. She asked me if I could get some free plastic surgery ala extreme makeover, what would I have done. Nothing really. I'm happy with my physical appearance in general. I mean I would get LASIK surgery maybe because I hate contacts and I'm still considering getting my ears pinned( although I've been told they're cute on me). But that's it. I finally start putting on some weight. Yo Boy used to be about 155lbs at 5'11. I've put on about 15lbs in the last six months lifting weights and drinking protein shakes. So I'm good.
Just a few years ago my answer would have probably been very different. I never really thought I was attractive growing up. I mean people would tell me "you're cute" or whatever but I didn't really believe them.

I had a conversation with my best friend Thomas a couple days ago. He's the last person in my life that hasn't been made aware of my sexual orientation. I'm thinking it's only a matter of time before they figure it though. Especially if BooBoo packs it up and joins me in San Antonio. He actually thinks one of my other good (girl) friends is in love with me. I guess I shouldn't have asked her to act like my girlfriend that time, huh? My whole family knows now, the ones that matter anyway. This dude is like my big brother. I love him. I love his entire family. They have treated me like family everytime I've seen them. I'm godfather to his son. The cynical part of me wants to say, "if they can't accept me then the hell with them" but I know it would hurt my hurt if they rejected me. Like I said I KNOW that they are going to figure it out sooner or later ( esp his wife with her nosy ass...That's my girl though) or I 'll tell them.

I found my little sisters blog on yahoo 360. OMG she's so much like me it's scary. Out of my moms 5 kids, the 2 of us are the odd ones...The loners. Our other brothers and sister are very social...Very outgoing. Weird how that works. We were all birthed from the same woman. Nature verses nurture I guess. I was having this conversation with my Jean( that's what I call my mom). Apparently I've always been this quiet and shy kid. She said I barely cried as a baby.
Most people think I'm shy when they meet me for the first time. I'm not really. I mean a may not wild out at first but that's because I need to observe you for a bit before I'm comfortable. Ok maybe I ma a little shy but I've gotten a lot better over the the last 5 years or so.

I'm moving out of my apartment next Friday and I have sooo much to do before then. I just realized that I might not have internet access for 3 or 4 weeks after. What is I gone I do!!!!! That's like going back to the 80's or something.

Listen to me Damnit

Thank god this weekend is almost over. I feel like hell. My head's throbbing and I feel tired, probably because I've been averaging about five hours of sleep per day for the last few days. Did I mention I hate working nights? Two more nights and I am done with this shit. But let me stop bitching. Wait though one more thing-lol-

So I'm talking to my Ex last night. I guess we're still friends even though I've come to realize that he's not as honest as I thought. In fact he's just a really good liar, but that's his new mans' problem. He tends to call me when he has a problem( people tell me I'm a good listener). So, he's blah, blah,blah and I'm listening, giving advice here and there...You know. Then he asks "so what's been going on with you?" Now usually when I'm asked this question I usually say "not much" or "everything's pretty good" or talk about something mundane. This time however I'm going through some pretty deep shit( Mom's just been diagnosed with Emphysema....Dad supposedly had a break down of some kind..Still clear on what exactly happened). Before I'm done( I did listen to all his issue, as I've done on several occasions) he switches the conversation back to hisself and I'm like "whatever" let him finish and get off the phone. Now I'm not really pissed but I start thinking that's kinda fucked up. I've always been there for him but he can't even let me finish....Yeah I'm glad we broke up because I was really stupid for this dude( but that's another blog).
I think a little harder though and realize most of my relationships are that way though. My family and a lot of my friends call me when they just need to vent. I guess I'm a REALLY good listener but when I decide I need someone to listen to me bitch for a minute you can hear crickets. It's not like it happens too often because I internalize everything....Again that's another post though. My baby is there but he always tries to fix "it" whatever it is. I don't know at least I got this blog, huh?

A Little Quiz

What is greater than God
More evil than the devil
The poor have it
The rich need it
And if you eat it you'll die

Ghetto

It 's like I'm back in the projects. Since "The Hurricane" my apartment complex has become soooo Mudafuckin ghetto. At first it was mostly aesthetic. My building had a large glass- I guess foyer would be the right way to describe- in the front. Now this of course was blown in during the storm. Almost six months later the owners still haven't even attempted( from what I can see) to do anything about the gaping whole in the building.

It's not just about appearances anymore though. The area inside the foyer is carpeted so when it rains the carpet gets soaked> wet carpet> heat> smell. OMG that hallway really stinks like hot ass and garbage sometimes and I don't even want to think about the mold that's growing under that carpet. I'm sure if I called the health dept......Well they would have some words. That's not it though...People just throw there trash anywhere. The place is littered with beer bottles ang Faygo cans. My apartment is the first and actually only one at the top of the stairs inside the foyer. People like to chill on the steps like it's the stoop at big Momma's house( those of you from the hood know what I'm talking about) just loud and country. Usually I wouldn't care but their like Right in front of my door. Speaking of door..My door really wasn't made for all weather, so that bitch is warping. Lock don't want to turn sometime.

This weekend( Saturday night to be specific) BooBoo and I( or is it BooBoo and me...Ugh forget it) were chilling at my place, watching TV when we hear some chick screaming right in front front of my door " Let me go" " you don't fuckin touch me" "your gonna get in trouble". BooBoo being the nosy lil fella he is(n I call him Pearl-the old lady from 227) of course goes to the door trying to see what's going on. Eventually as the chick keeps screaming" Let go of me" I decide to see what the hell is going on. So I open my door...I see my neighbor( I call him The Mexican) at the the bottom of the stairs trying to pull this white chick up the stairs. She's holding on the the banister....In fact their big asses broke the banister. So I'm standing out here watching the scene along with some other people in the building wondering what the hell's going on. I don't know what the hell is going on and dude has like five of his cousins out there with him. I don't know if he hit ole girl or what but I'm getting the impression that this is more Whitney and Bobby than Ike and Tina. I called the cops because I didn't won't anything to happen to her and I want them to shut the hell up. So I guess the Mexican realized he won't be able to haul big girl back to the apartment and starts trying to talk to her. I guess it worked because they both went back into their apartment, but I immediately here them screaming at each other and things being knocked around. The cops show up like 30 minutes later( yeah I'm really in the hood now). I don't really know what happened after that but I distinctly over hear the cops talking about 'fighting over crack". WTF......Now I'm living next to crack heads!!! I swear if I wasn't already moving I would ....Move.
I mean I grew up in the hood, even lived in the projects for a few years( and when I say projects I mean straight out Good Times high-rise projects), but as a adult making a decent living I don't feel that I should have to tolerate this foolishness.

Anyway my weekend was pretty boring. These bitches had me working...They have me working next weekend too. I promise it'll be the last.

Just some thoughts

So has anybody tried that KY warming gel? Yeah won't use that again........I was gonna share the story of my lubricant experimentation.....but, um naw. I mean I know some people who seem to like it but Whoa!!!! Too much, huh?

I drove up to see BooBoo yesterday to hang out since I won't get to see him this weekend....F&%ckin job changed the schedule at the last minute so I have to work this weekend. We actually ended up having a small and petty ass fight, but it's all good now. I also got to hang out with his roommate/best friends boyfriend, who I haven't seen in a long time. They are a Hot Ass Mess, cheating and understandably mistrusting of each other but won't give it up for some reason. I guess! Oh and there was the KY incident.

Gideon was voted off American Idol. Awwww. Back to the choir girl-LOL- Even though that boy( I can't remember his name) I call him Harry Potter made it to the top 12. I think he's this seasons John Stevens( that redhead kid from season 3).

ANTM looks to be somewhat interesting this season.

I really like that song Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield. Oh and Neyo's album really is pretty good. If I ever figure out how to start my radioblog, I'll add some tracks. Since I'm on music. Anyone seen Ray J's new video. I mean he is looking good in those boxer briefs and it's good to see Ananda Lewis, but bruh really can't sing....at all.

Doesn't the Oscar winning song "It's Hard out Here For A Pimp" performed by the illustrious Rap group Three-six Mafia sound like something that was written for a Madd TV skit or something?

I need to go to bed now. Good Day........

Parents

DAD:
For the past week my father has continued to call me and I have continued to ignore him...Until about 5 hours ago that is. Damn I wish I would have just blocked the number. As I said before my father has really not been a presence in my life since I was ...Maybe 9 or 10 years old. He moved to Los Angeles, we stayed in St. Louis, he acted like a single man with no responsibilities and learned to make it without him. There's a whole lot of back and forth, including a conversation when I was 14 and needed some serious help( Long story...He let me down) and I basically hated him for years after that. Back to the phone call. Now the only times in my life that my father expressed any real emotion to me were when he was drunk. My Father and mother were always happy drunks( I inherited that from them-LOL-). So he decided to call me tonight. I finally decided to answer the phone. Why? I can tell right away by his voice that dude is lit. He starts talking about how I can't answer the phone and talk to my "dad", how I need to stop hating him and how he didn't know thing were that bad with my mom growing up. Same old shit and I don't really feel like talking to him because he's drunk and I'm at work. So I proceed to tell him I don't hate him but I don't really like him either and half way through I realize that I'm wasting my free minutes:) because he's not even going to remember this conversation in the morning. I mean I don't hate this dude but I don't know him and I don't respect him as a man, so what the hell am I supposed to do? I'm over it. Really!!!

MOM:
I finally called my mom back after like three weeks. The reason I haven't talked to her in awhile is because I turned my home phone off, I started working nights, the nights I wasn't working were spent at BooBoo's, my cell wasn't working and she started tripping. For example:


Larry, I've been talking to some people. About you and our relationship. About the bad things I did to you. About how you have been a very good son to me in spite of the bullshit I put you through. About how today you don't have enough love or respect for me to even answer my calls, even though you have pertinent information that I really need from you.

I think that you hate me. I think that you blame me for all the things that go wrong in your life, I also think that Patrick doesn't want you to have a relationship with me, I could be wrong about that one and I hope so,. I think that you think that if I had been a better or different mother your life would be better.

there is nothing I can do about anything that occurred in the past. I can only try to be the best person I can be today. God bless you Larry because if you can never forgive me you will never be forgiven for any of your wrong doing. And yes we all have wrong doings in our life.


Now granted I could just called to straighten this MESS out, but you have to realize her jumping to conclusions and going off is very common for her and just didn't feel like dealing with it. This was around the time I dealing with Moving and BooBoo and I just didn't feel like dealing with it. Notice she even wants to blame him for me not talking to her when he's one of the people who pushed me to start talking to her again in the first place. Then I get this:


you must always strive to be the man that God put you here to be. I rebuke whatever enemy in your life that won't allow you to take calls from your family. I believe there is a evil force in your presence that wants you dead. Please pray to God and demand that he free you of all strongholds. I am not speaking about your choice of lifestyle. I will continue to pray that you be set free. In the name of Jesus, be gone from my son any and all evil spirits and strongholds. In Jesus name Larry be blessed

Now I'm evil or possessed or something. Ok.


I sometimes wonder what my life would be like if I had atleast one sane parent. Thank god for Althea Burns(My Gram...I miss her), but as my brother pointed out to me "the experiences of our childhood made us the people we are today" which I guess is a good thing...Well, in my case anyway.

Hey It's Friday

I need to stay off Wikipedia. I did a search for Dreamgirls( because it was a topic on a blog I read recently), from there I linked to the Supreme, click Diana Ross, click Motown, click Barry Gordy, click Jackson 5 and you know that led to like 10 other links. Like crack I tell you.

I'm sitting at this job again(arrrgh). I'm so happy I got tomorrow off and the three days after that. * Sidenote: this new airman....Why the hell is he sooo mudafuckin fine? Why does he have the sexist eyes ever? Why is he walking around with no shirt on?* Now if I caught him "doing somethings" in the bathroom, like those other knuckle heads........Just playing. I love you BooBoo( LadyNay said she doesn't like the new nickname, so he's back to BooBoo).
Speaking of that knucklehead. He's coming down this afternoon Yay. Should I be upset that he let his friend take pictures of him wearing nothing but very tight green underwear? Probably not...I'm not. Just happy he sent them to me and glad he's coming down this afternoon. He better bring those draws with him.