My life is not really that hard, it just seems that way sometimes. I'm just a poor black man stuck way too far down south trying to make each day a little better than the last.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

......

What I didn't meantion in my last post is that the fight only lasted a few hours. That's one thing about us MOST of the time the fights don't last long. It's got me analyzing some things in my head, trying to decide how healthy our relationship is.
Ninety-nine percent of the time it's great. I think he knows me better than anyone else in the world. He's the type of dude who'll tell me he loves me like eight times in a conversation and I can feel it even over the phone( corny right?). He's stubborn but I am too and then there's that mouth....sigh. I'm told he gets it from his dad and I believe it after watching his dad go off on someone, but just like Ms. Betty will shut his dad down when he crosses that line....you know the rest.
I guess we're alright. Every couple fights, but some of our fights have been so fucking belligerent. He gets so belligerent sometimes. l guess I'm just venting. He'll be here Sunday.

In other news....
Does anyone know how to download clips from youtube to your blog? What about blog radio?

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

When You're Mad? Ne-Yo must be crazy

So my weekend was pretty boring. I slept most of it, cleaned me apartment( somewhat) and read a couple books. I had a big ass fight with BooBoo on Sunday afternoon though and I'm trying to figure out if I overreacted. Here's what happened....

Picture it Sicily...1926. Naw Sunday afternoon I was in Walmart picking up a few things when my phone rang. It's that boy. We chit chat. I'm asking about church..What grandma cooked for dinner. I didn't realize it was Fathers Day, seeing as how I don't talk to mine. So, I ask him what he got his dad for Fathers Day. He tells me $20. I'm like "that's it, you could have got him a card are something" . After going back and forth about that for a minute( I'm mostly joking by the way). He says " What did you get your father?...Nothing that's what I thought. Better yet what did you get your mom for Mothers day...Nothing? So, How you gonna tell me what I should have got my father?"

Now at this point the world stops like it would on those early episodes of saved By The Bell when Zack needed to talk to the audience. Did he really just say that to me because that was some messy shit. Am I wrong? I mean that was kind of mean and...yeah mean. Especially with him knowing about the situation between my parents and I. Hmmmm I should get off the phone.

So I tell him that was some mean shit to say. He feels justified because in his mind I questioned his love for his dad because I said he should have bought a card are something. One thing you should know about him is that he has a temper and when he's mad he will say some off the wall shit. Usually when he's like that I just get off the phone, let him calm down because he's not going to hear me and he will continue to put his foot in his mouth. For example...after going back and forth for awhile he tells me that his parents are his business and my parents are mine. I say cool I'll never ask about his parents again. I guess that snapped him out of it because THAT hurt his feelings. Crazy right?

-This story is getting Long-

In the end I had to cuss my baby out.....BAD. I feel kind of bad, but he pissed me off that day and kind of had it coming.
That's the darkside of our relationship. He has a temper, BUT he will not be just talking to me any kind of way because he's mad.

Did I overreact? Was I being sensitive? Can you understand this post? It's like 4am and I've been running all over this hospital all night...LOL

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Say A Little Prayer For Me

I just finished reading E. Lynn Harris' new "I Say a Little Prayer". Read the thing in like 5 hours. I've enjoyed Most of his books, but I thought this one was excellent. In the beginning I thought the main character was going to be kind of a asshole with his whole" three date rule" or should I say three fuck rule. You start liking the guy and understanding why he is the way he is by the middle though. For those who've read his previous books...Yancy shows up( she didn't learn her lesson after all and Basil's in love with Ray.

I was gonna write a post entitled "Embarrassing Shit about ME" but yeah, had second thoughts about that one.

I'm listening to "Stay" by Lisa Loeb right now and it's stirring these feelings.....

This cheers me up though

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rERESWXV4Y

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Just another 24



<<<<< #1Godson(look at those ears) and BrandNew Godson.

It's been a long day. I actually got a couple of things accomplished. Got a haircut, got my car washed and waxed, went to the grocery store AND got my oil changed. That might not sound like alot but I've been Lazy as hell lately... Sleeping til 3-4 o'clock.

I sent my ex a birthday card today. I'm wondering if I should have. I kind of wanted him to know that I remembered. I mean we're still friends a guess. I don't know. I'm just wondering. He just broke up with his boyfriend and now he's feeling all nolstalgic about the last dude he let go...Me.

I need to start a regular exercise routine. A bad knee, Texas being hot as...Texas and working night shift has got things ...filling out. Don't get it twisted I'm still Slimmer than I want to be but I'm losing my "tone", so I need to handle that. I think I'm going to start going to Power Yoga classes again, those will kick your ass. I tried Spin classes but they hurt my knee. Last year I spent four months working out 6 days a week and I got, dare I say....sexy. I liked it, BooBoo liked it. I need to do that again.

Anyways I think I'm going to finally sit and watch these gay cowboys on that mountain....lata

Monday, June 12, 2006

I'm Doing It Again.

Listening to "Lately" the original version(stevie) and feeling some kind of way about it. I don't really know why.

I'm doing it again. Not answering the phone, not answering text messages or emails. Why? I don't know. I just don't feel like dealing with certain people and THEIR issues. By "certain people" I mean the family. Yeah it's not right, but it's easy. I do need to call my mom so that I can get her new address though. Maybe later today.

I need some friends, man. I should rephrase that......I need some ((( friends. Friends like Noah has, friends that will come pick you up in the middle of night when you need it, friends that just show up at the house to hang out. I mean before ya'll think I'm one of those social misfits who can't find any. I have friends they're just scattered all over the nation and I've only been here a month. I thought about logging on to one of those "sites" to kinda meet some people, but those folks tend to think that friend means loose booty. Plus the Boo would kill me.
He'll be back here in a couple of weeks. Can't wait. I miss my baby. I've been having these dreams, these freaky dreams, these orgasmic dreams. Probably because I'm trying the celibacy thing again.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Jealousy

You know. I feel like I'm not blogging about anything of consequence. I have several issues running around my mind right now, but I'm not really talking about them with anyone or blogging about them. I wonder why. No really I wonder why. Here's one.....

My best friend and his wife just welcomed their second son into the world. Jordan Thomas McCray( pictures should be coming shortly). My second Godson by the way. While I'm extremely happy for them I'm kind of jealous. I know doesn't that sound evil. I mean not "I wish bad things for them" jealous but " I wish I had a family like them" jealous.
My family..Well, my family sucks sometimes. I just started speaking to my mom again (long story), I don't talk to my dad( bastard) and I love my siblings dearly but it seems like we are all out living our separate lives( which is how it's supposed to be I guess) but I'm talking years without seeing each other. I really feel like I'm ready to create my own family. The Boo and I have discussed eventually raising children together but we still have to tackle living together first. Even if that doesn't work I always said I'd adopt a kid who needed a home one day or maybe find some lesbian friends who'd have my big eared babies. This rent-a-cop told me I look like Martin Lawrence today. Um...No.. I guess we all look alike. Anyway I'm just venting.

---On to the Superficial stuff-----

Has anyone seen that show the Footballers Wives on BBC America. OMG that's gonna be shit since Desperate housewives is gone for the summer. There was a rape, two women giving birth to the same mans babies at the same time, a baby swap, A faked paternity test, a stalker, a baby being smothered by the families dog and a cute confused gay black boy all in the first show. I don't understand the slang because the cast is British but still.

Has anyone heard of the group S Club? How about Imajin? Why did I buy their greatest hits album yesterday. My musical tastes are a bit TOO broad at times.

I finally watched that Destiny Children DVD. The one in Atlanta. I was impressed.

Anywho...I should be working......lata

Friday, June 02, 2006