The Weekend Post

This weekend was definitely a mixed bag.

Friday: I drove up to Hattiesburg, MS to spend time with the Boo. I hadn't seen my baby all week, so I was definitely looking forward to it. We hadn't planned on doing anything because he'd worked a 12 hour shift that day but that was not meant to be. His neighbor and a bunch of his friends where going to Kareoki at some bar, couldn't miss that right...RIGHT.
Well I wasn't disappointed. I can't decide which was the best performance of the night. A trio of white guys trying to sing "Don't Leave" by Blackstreet and not knowing the words..... BooBoo and his cousin singing "Dontcha"........His intoxicated neighbor singing "Georgia" .......Drunk white girl falling off the stage......or me singing "I Will Always Love You"....Ok that didn't happen, but only because the DJ didn't have it. Good times.

Saturday: This is where the weekend hits a snag.. The day started off pretty good, woke up to a hot breakfast( Lawd he can't cook, but it's the thought that counts). Anyway, later on in the afternoon he decides to go to the gym. I'm like "cool". I would have gone with him but his gym wants $15 for non-members, so I decide to go to the bookstore seeing as there isn't one anywhere near my place.
So I'm getting ready, ironing my clothes. He asks me if I brought another outfit(we planned on going out to dinner and a movie later). I tell him no, why do I have to change to go to Chilli's and a movie later? He starts going off about how" he doesn't want me to be looking all wrinkled" sounding like a retarded mother. I don't remember the exact sequence of events, but I do remember we started cracking on each other. That eventually led to us wrestling around like a couple of 12 year olds.

-------- Now while all this is going on I'm not tripping because this type of behavior isn't really out of the ordinary for us. We can both be a couple of big ass kids----------------------------


So after I put him in a headlock and make him say he's sorry, he decides he doesn't want to go to the gym anymore and goes to his room and gets on the phone. He seriously develops a stank ass attitude out of nowhere. I'm like I know he can't be serious , hell he started this shit. So this goes on for maybe two hours, him in his room, me on his couch. Eventually he comes out saying he's sorry, gives me some lame ass line about how he's stressed from work and school and feels like he needs some time alone. So, me being me, says "alright I'll leave" but he doesn't want that either. Again he goes on about school and work and he didn't mean to take it out on me and...blah,blah, blah.........

-----------He's the type of person that gets upset when things get hectic for him----------------

I seriously think my boyfriend needs medication OR he's reacting to the news that I'm probably going to move away because that came up when we were having our talk( like I said he gets upset when he gets, well...He gets upset). He kept asking me if I meant what I said about doing everything I can to make the long distance thing work. So...Yeah..wow....right!
Anywho. We went out to eat and saw Underworld 2, which was a decent enough movie. If you liked the first one you'll really like the sequel. Sunday was just boring.

Check This Out About The World We Live In!!!!

If we could shrink the earth's population to a village of precisely 100 people, with all the existing human ratios remaining the same, it would look something like the following:

There would be:
57 Asians
21 WHITE PEOPLE
14 from the Western Hemisphere, both north and south u knowEkimos and stuff
8 BLACK or Africans

52 would be female
48 would be male

70 would be non-white
30 would be white

70 would be non-Christian
30 would be CHRISTIAN

89 would be heterosexual
ONLY 11 would be homosexual

6 people would possess 59% of the entire world's wealth and ALL 6 would be from the United States.
80 would live in substandard housing
70 would be unable to read
50 would suffer from malnutrition
1 would be near death
1 would be near birth
1 (yes, only 1) would have a college education
1 would own a computer

Gotta Go, Gotta Leave

I'm sitting here listening to "Set Adrift On Memories Bliss" by P.M. Dawn( don't know if that's the right title but ya'll know the one I'm talkin about).I was just told that I will be getting orders, maybe as early as Febuary. I'm kind of happy about that because....Well I hate Mississippi. Never wanted to live here. Definitely didn't want to live here for five years. The only problem is I would have to leave my baby behind. I don't know how I'm supposed to do that. I'm about to tear up just thinking about it.
I would pack him up and bring him with me but he's in his last semester of school. So that's not going to work. Man this really sucks. We've talked about the possibility of this happening and what we would do, but never really came to a conclusion. Can we spend four maybe five months apart? Is he willing to pack up and leave his friends and family to be with me? I/we don't know. All I do know is that I don't have a choice in the matter. The government OWNS my black ass( for 23 more months atleast). What am I gonna do without my boo? Fuck!!!

In the Meantime I need to send them a list of my top five locations TONIGHT:

1. Andrwes AFB, MD. I've lived there before and I like the area, plus 1 of my best friends lives there now so I'd atleast have somewhere to stay until I find a place.
2. Scott AFB, IL. It's 15 minutes from St. Louis. Close to the family which could be a good thing and a bad thing.
3. Lackland AFB, TX. I hear the area is nice and they have a sleep lab( my chosen profession) in there Med Center.
4. Langley AFB, VA. Just cause.
5. Nellis AFB, NV. Vegas. Why not.

Despite everything I'm kind of excited about starting over in a new place. I just hope BooBoo and I can make it through this because not having him in my life will break my heart for real.

"I'll die without you" P.M. Dawn.

First Post of 2006

Right now my life feels great. I feel like a came into 2006 with things pretty much in order. My boyfriend(check), family(check), my job(check), Finances(check).....

I wish that above statement were true, but sadly it's not well 1 out of four aint bad:

My boyfriend: Things are pretty smooth between us. We continue to occasionally have small conflicts but that's true for any couple that's been together for awhile. He has learned to talk to me about what's bothering him instead of assuming that I can read his mind and gotten over his trust issues. That's my one out of four by the way.

Family: More to the point my parents. My mom thinks I hate her because of this fight we had over money right before Christmas. She said " I hear such hate in your voice". I don't hate my mother. I love my mother. I've forgiven her for the things she's done in the past. She's come along way the last few years. She's been sober for almost four years now, found herself a job and she's doing well for herself. At the same time I don't really like her as a person. I mean she annoys the hell out of me. I feel like I'm raising a 46 yo woman sometimes, but I do need to try to be more respectful. I mean she is my mother.
I've been working on a post about my father for months now. Sometimes I hate him, sometimes I don't care, sometimes I don't know. Yeah complicated.

My Job: I've pretty much been off of work since Katrina blew through. Sounds great right?Except I work in a very technical field and I'm scared that by the time the base decides what it wants to do with the troops in my section I'll lose IT, the skills, the knowledge. Plus I was planning on taking three different certification tests this year. The good news is I get paid on the 1st and 15th regardless. Oh well, I guess I'll just enjoy the vacation for now.

Finances: I have a bad habit of dipping into my savings account for frivolous things like shoes and paying my moms/siblings bills. I'll hopefully be getting a raise this spring and I just paid off a personal loan so I'll be putting all of that cash into savings and leaving it alone. That's my one New Years resolution.

Thes are just some things that are on my mind and that I plan to work on/resolve in the coming months.

A Post

I was going to post about my goals and hopes for 06 but I can't really concentrate on that right now so I jacked this from Teej's blog. her you go:


2005[P E O P L E]

1. Best friend/s? Thomas( my str8 BF), Jessica( my str8 knows that I'm gay BF), Jae( my gay BF)
2. Best boyfriend/girlfriend? Patrick "Jamal" Holmes
3. Lost any friends? Couple people I'm not cool with anymore.
4. Gained any friends? A few( some I've even met in the flesh)
5. Met a new good friend? One but he moved away like four months later.

[P L A C E S]

1. Went out of the country? Not this year, but I may see beautiful Iraq in 2006
2. How many times on an airplane? Um twice to vist the siblings in San Fransico
3. Road trips? Fa sho!!! drove to the A a couple times and New Orleans ...you know before....
4. Moved? Hell I wish, this apartment complex has gotten GHETTO. I'm resta go.

[Y O U]

1. Have you changed? For the better I hope. Gotten a little wiser
2. New look? Put on some wait, trust me it's a good thing. You skinny Brothas know what I'm talking about.
3. Any new addictions? Strawberry and Cream Fraps from Starbucks and Gay Brazillion porn.
4. Biggest conflict this year? trying to get my boyfriend to really trust me.
5. Most depressed time this year? When I thought I was gonna have to end it because of the conflict above.

[L O V E]

1. Did you fall in love? All over again
2. Did you get heartbroken? That's so 2004
3. Who was your summer love? Patrick "Jamal" Holmes aka BooBoo
4. How many boyfriends/girlfriends this year? Just the one.
5. Favorite date? Seeing Rent with BooBoo and listening to him either snoring, texting folks, or whispering "shit" everytime a new song started.

[S E A S O N S]

1. Favorite Season? Usually Fall, but it was so hot in September and October that I'm going to say Winter this year.
2. Least favorite season? Summer..What? It's not like I get 3 months off anymore and plus I live in Hell( that's what it feels like anyway)
3. Good birthday? That hoe Katrina F*&ked my birthday up. I feel bad for my baby cause she actually hit on his.
4. Any snow this year? Not in Hell
5. Highest temperature? Like 104. Fortunately it was during a almost statewide blackout

[F I N A L Q U E S T I O N S]

1. Snuck out? From who? I'm grown.
2. Met someone who will change ur life? Nope
3. Kept your resolution? I don't even remember what they were. guess that's a no, huh?
4. Got arrested? Hell no.
5. Had a first something? I'm sure
6. Drank Alcohol? Yeah Boooy
7. Smoked weed/drugs? Don't do drugs
8. Did anything illegal? I might have bought a couple bootlegs.
9. Kissed a boy/girl? both actually
10. Had a crush? Naw.
11. Liked someone who didn't like you? Disliked a couple who liked me
12. Lost a family member? Nope
13. Got bad grades? I didn't take any classes this year.
14. Got suspended? Um NO
15. Moved states? No again... I wish.
16. Got a myspace? Naw...but I am starting a yahoo 360 page
17. Learned an instrument? I think I can still play a little trumpet.
18. Started a band? yep..Larry and the Pussycats
19. Spent over 1 million dollars? Shiiiiiiiiiiiiittt
20. Went streaking? Not intentionally.
21. Done something you shouldn't have? Probably
22. Kept a secret? Yes
23. Told a secret? I told my sister I was gay.
24. Done something you totally regret? just one thing
25. Changed your view on things? On a couple things.