28 DEC 06

Wassup,

I hope everyone had a peaceful Christmas. How was mine you ask? Well I worked All night the day before, so I slept most the day, went to see Dreamgirls with a friend and had pancakes at IHOP. All in all not a bad Christmas..lol. The 25th was also the third anniversary of my relationship with Crazy( aka BooBoo).

Since every blogger MUST give his/her opinion on the movie. Here's mine:

Dreamgirls wasn't a perfect movie but definitely a entertaining one.
The music:
was awesome. The one song that I thought was kinda cheesy( Family) grew on me by the time of the reprise. I just downloaded the "full" soundtrack as a matter of fact. How gay is that..LOL.
The acting:
I thought Jennifer Hudson did a great job especially for a first time actress stepping into a well known part. I don't think it lived up to the hype but still a great job
Eddie Murphy was perfect. I don't know if anyone could have pulled that part off without being really over the top. I hope he wins that Golden Globe and gets a Oscar nom too.
Jamie Foxx was Ok..I didn't think he brought anything particularly special to the part.
I don't know his name but the guy who plays CC was...Really cute. Naw I just read he's working on a album.
The Dreamgirl who got no press Anika Rose did a great job with what she was given.

Beyonce...well, I'll just say that six months of acting lessons definitely helped. I almost forgot about her cringe worthy acting in her prior roles. I think that she was born to play this version of Deana.

I don't know if it was the editing or just the way the story was written but the movie was a little disjointed. One moment all the focus is on Effie then it's all about Deana. Curtis goes from being a little shady to cold hearted bastard in just a couple of frames and I think the Deana and Curtis relationship needed a little more build up.

I really didn't mean write a whole post about Dreamgirls but there you go.

Update

So a lot has happened since my last post. BooBoo and I did break up...


for two days. A lot of things were said. A lot of things were discussed. I understand some things that I didn't before and I think he does too. I told him if he wasn't happy he should let it go but he said that's not what he wanted. So the relationship still feels a little unsteady but it's still present. I'll be leaving in a few weeks anyway so he'll have plenty of time to "think".

In other news...

These people at work are riding my nerves HARD. I swear everyday there's something else that needs to be done or some new office I need to visit..Oh and I'm still expected to work all night. Hell...Iraq might be a vacation from this place. Right now I'm just trying to pack. I think I can fit everything I need in two bags. There's nothing worse than trying to schlepp a bunch of bags half way across the world.

I decided not to try to visit the family for Christmas. For both economic and mental reasons...LOL. I had to work on Christmas eve anyway. It's weird, I used to fell really depressed around this time of year. That's not the case anymore, it just feels like any other time of year. It's probably because San Antonio doesn't even try to look festive so it REALLY feels like any other time of year. O h well maybe next year

25 DEC 03-12 DEC 06

IT'S OVER I THINK. HE TOLD ME I WANT IT TO BE OVER...LOL. I'M TIRED.

Sometimes love is not enough

First to answer everyone's question. What was I doing on blackgaychat? Well, 1st if I had a profile on there I would be a huge hypocrite. A friend of mine recently discovered his boyfriends profile on there "looking for a nicca on top of his game". For some reason that made me want to check it out. WE( this friend and I) were pretty much in the same situation. We both had lovers like in other states and I can't really explain it. Something in me wanted to just check to see if he was on there. So I used my friends screen name, specifically searched his city and spotted his torso on display for the world to see. The thing is I've never really been suspicious of him and I didn't think he would be on there "like that".

When we got back together I had a profile on A4A that I deleted because he thought that even if I was just chatting and looking for friends, it would lead to temptation. Plus I was trying to regain his trust, so if that's what it took. Whatever!

I created a fake profile and hit him up and we had a hour long conversation on YIM. He said he was just bored and looking for friends, nothing sexual. He DID say that he was single and he was very flirtatious. He even gave "the dude" his phone number. Afterwards I talked to him and let him know what was up. He was very apologetic. He didn't have any answers though. He said he'd seen his friends chat on there and he liked the compliments he got on his pics.

My feelings? I think that maybe he was curious about it. Liked the compliments and attention and yeah despite what he says the temptation to do "something" was there. I told him that if our relationship was too much for him, if going so long without sex is too much for him then he just has too say so. That I could respect. I'm about to leave the country for four months and I can't...fuck that!! I won't spend that time worrying about what he's doing back here. He says no, he loves me he doesn't want anyone else, blah, blah, blah

I choose to believe him right now. I also wonder if I'm being a fool by doing so. Why string me along when you can be free to do what you want? Am I a fool? Should I break up with him?

I love him so much. I believe he loves me but how much can one relationship take.

WTF

So you find out your lover of almost three years has a profile on blackgaychat.com. He's half naked and claiming to be single. Do you confront him on the shit right away? Do you make up a fake profile and try to see what he's really up to?

At first I thought maybe it was old but thank's to a fairly new piercing, The pictures have to be fairly recent. It's funny, he always told me these sites where only good for sex. I talked to him tonight and he kept asking me what was wrong. Is it possible that it's "innocent"? Possibly. Meaning he hasn't actually done anything but even if he hasn't WTF!!!! I'm supposed to see him next weekend. Yeah I'm kind of sad.