WTF
So you find out your lover of almost three years has a profile on blackgaychat.com. He's half naked and claiming to be single. Do you confront him on the shit right away? Do you make up a fake profile and try to see what he's really up to?
At first I thought maybe it was old but thank's to a fairly new piercing, The pictures have to be fairly recent. It's funny, he always told me these sites where only good for sex. I talked to him tonight and he kept asking me what was wrong. Is it possible that it's "innocent"? Possibly. Meaning he hasn't actually done anything but even if he hasn't WTF!!!! I'm supposed to see him next weekend. Yeah I'm kind of sad.
posted by lj at 11:26 PM
7 Comments:
There are several ways I found that can help to go about this. I would start a communication around the subject, excluding the facts you learn about his profile to see WHY he is doing it.
Next, I would sit back and watch his activity and track record of logging in, if you can view that information. You asked a question of creating a private profile to see what it is about, GO AHEAD. That could be a good resources to record exactly he responses and motives...just like an undercover investigation.
Finally, you need to make the presentation. This is where anything can happen. It could be he needs more attention or that the "smackdown" is not taking place enough. It could be innocent and needs friends. Or, the worst, a break-up. This where you need to be strong and true with you convictions what you should do.
Not that I endorse same-sex relationships, but these techniques worked well for me in the past with cheaters or those who wanted to be.
12:10 PM
I guess the question would be why where YOU on the site?
The best way (for me) to address situations most the time is to put it out there and have the other party do the talking.
1:27 PM
Maybe you need to take him more literally,,,I mean, when he said that those sites are good for nothing but sex...maybe he was telling the truth.
Begin by talking with him as a friend. Pull up one of the sites and begin to rate the guys together. Say stuff like "He's ugly" when you know he's cute and see what your dude says. Don't use the site your dude uses because that will only make him feel uncomfortable.
If you have a lot of distance between you then you really need to express your concern and approval or disapproval. Either way, whether you are having sex or not, keep condoms around you because you never know.
10:40 AM
Talk to him, not confront, him about it. That's all that needs to be said.
But how did you find out that he was on there?
2:57 PM
ditto to all of the above. how did you even know he was there? what were you doing there? if you have a good response, then yes, you talk to him abt it. but are your ready for the response?
3:51 PM
OhMyGosh!!! I am so late on this one!
Talk to him before it eats you up on the inside.
3:20 AM
Having experience with this, Shawn and I have profiles on there, and I say you should definately confront him. Trying to scheme and find out true motives is only going to open doors to why you are on the site. Dont go down that road. Keep it honest and direct!
9:49 PM
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