Pleasure and Pain

To You,
Damn, It's been hard lately, huh? All the fighting, the bickering over little shit, the long silences. I don't know which was worse.
I've been trying to be patient and understanding. I felt like I owed you that. After all, you gave me.... Correction... You gave us another chance after I told you I just wanted to be friends and I thank you for that. I know you don't think that I do, but I DO know how much that hurt you. I know it hurt even more when you found out I'd started something with someone else so soon after all that went down.
Still, we continued to communicate on a almost daily basis. In fact, you became one of best friends. I remember talking to you until midnight about....My family, jobs, school, that dude were seeing(ugh). I remember talking to you the night before I left the country last summer. You said that you loved me and would be there for me no matter what. Do you know how often I laid in my bunk and thought of your face, that big smile that seems to perminately stuck there? You should I told you plenty of times. When I got back I didn't let you know right away. I don't know why. I really don't have an answer for that, but I remember seeing you for the first time in six months. I remember the butterflies, the hug and the smile. I still crack a smile when I think of x-mas night.... Lounging on your futon. You asked, "so are we official again"? I said, "fa Sho".
Fast forward 7 months and some odd days. Things are getting rough. After what happened Saturday night, I'm asking myself if love is enough to keep us together. I'm tired of fighting. I love you and the thought of you not being mine breaks my heart. The only thing that I know for sure is that we need to move on. The question is should we do together or ......... I don't even want to say it.