Madea
So, I haven't talked to my for over a month. I honestly don't know at this point if I even want to...again. I'm tired of the ups and downs of our relationship. I'm tired of her period. Let me explain what happened this time. I hadn't even been back in the country for for 2 days before she had her hand out. Telling me she needs money for medicine or bills or something like yesterday. Welcome Home..right?
Let me explain. I don't have a problem helping her out with some cash from time. The thing is my mother lies ...alot. I know for a fact she's called me for medicine and called my younger brother and sister at the same time for the same things. So, she lies. I just hope the money isn't going towards anything that it shouldn't.
I'm just happy to be back in the country. I have the cash so I don't make a issue out of it. I just send the money via Western Union since it's a "emergency". The very same day she calls me back talking about my lil brother needs like $400 dollars for football camp, the next day my lil sisters birthday is coming up and she wants to take her out. At this point I'm thinking " hold up I don't remember saying I Do to you and I sure as hell didn't have anything to do with the conception of those kids" but I went ahead and once again sent the money because I got it and she said it was needed. The very next day she calls again. This time there's some other medicine she needs. Before she even get the request out of her mouth I'm like hell naw. I just sent like $700 dollars and it's pretty fucking funny how these new medicines just keep getting randomly prescribed. But if you need it that bad she better use that camp money. RIGHT? right. She doesn't see it that way and starts going on about how she might die and she hopes she dies. I'm done though. I'm not going there. In fact I decide we don't need to talk for awhile and I don't answer my phone for like a week. That apparently made her lose her mind because she called and left 3 of the nastiest voice mails....I mean cussed my ass out, talked about my boyfriend, just a bunch of UN necessary bullshit. I don't remember much about them word for word but I do remember how the last one ended..." you only get one mother and I'm that bitch". Yeah, I thought she was saved. Any who after that I calmly told her I don't have to take that bullshit from her are anybody else and that was that. Haven't spoken since.
You want to know the truth. I'm cool with that. I said awhile ago that our relationship has been irreversibly damaged since I was like 14. Sometimes I really don't care man. I'm tired of the drama. She really doesn't bring anything positive to my life.
So, why can't I just let it go?
posted by lj at 7:07 PM
6 Comments:
Cuz it's your mother...that's why. I remember telling you this before (when I blogged as Jamal K. Franklin) my mother is the EXACT same way. I guess it's just something we have to learn how to deal with.
8:38 AM
You can't let go simply because she is her mother. I held my tongue with my mother for years until one day she just pissed me off beyond pisstivity! I (and my sister) let her know about how much she hurt me(us) for the first 21 years of my life.
I then got my ass on a plane and headed to Memphis. I didn't talk to her for a week until she called me.
At one point you may just have to let her know that what she does negatively affects you.
10:12 AM
The folks are right...it's your mom. They get a few free passes - and God knows mine has gotten enough free passes to make it around the world. Hang tight and use your present method of when-I-have-time and you'll be aiiight.
3:36 PM
Yeah what they said. You gotta cut that gravy train off boo. Your siblings are NOT your kids! Your bro wanna go to ball camp, he can find a way to work that out. Your sister will live without going out for her birthday! *eyeroll*
8:13 AM
I know how you feel and you might want to have that strong talk with your mother and say that you are there to help, but you have to live as well and if she need something, it must be prioritized. Some of the things she want is just that- wants. There is a difference between wants and necessities. Tell her she needs to manage her necessities with her wants before asking for money.
10:48 AM
man my family has been hitting up for money since Janet was in Control. after years and years of getting more pissed, i finally told them at the beginning of this year, "it doesn't take 2 people to live 1 person's life. if these problems are so pressing why don't you take care of them when they first pop up? i've got to live too. i got a job, now it's your turn." trust, when they get some money, you won't get a phone call asking if you want some. stop the money train, because they WILL get that money from someone.
11:14 PM
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